Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
