I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
