So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
