weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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