why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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