Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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