All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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