apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
