I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
