I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
