Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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