he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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