hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
