I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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