He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
