Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
