I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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