Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
