I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize