What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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