Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
