just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
