I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
