At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
