I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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