were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize