And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
