Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
