I love black thongs
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
