so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
