I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
