I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
