everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
