If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
