I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
