did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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