I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
