why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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