i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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