I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
