It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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