Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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