i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He shit in the fireplace
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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