What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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