The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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