not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
