you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
