Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
