I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You're like the curious george of whores
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
