Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize