I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
