So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
There are leaves in my underwear?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize