BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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