He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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