Banned from zoo.
Again?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
