fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
