I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
